Inspired by Bleach, this blog has the theme:"She's a shooting star...".
And thereafter, welcome to my blog!
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Last Update: 2nd November 2009
Welcome
My heart's dripping blood... It hurts so much....
First thing from the day, my headache is getting nowhere better, when i stand up or sit down too fast, or get under a cold environment for a long period. The reason for this might be the following:
1) Stress
2) The Fever Tat Lasted For A Day, 38.2 deg cel.
Feel so bad.
If i say that the reason is due to stress, then the source of my stress might be the following:
1) Studies
2) My Relationship
3) Both our family problems
4) My stupid health...
Then why is my heart bleeding? Well, It's due to the following:
1) Our relationship is starting to feel one-sided.
2) My fear for getting emotionally hurt is starting get worse.
3) There are too many things getting in between us.
I've thought about it for a very very long time, and i restrained my tears when i was on my bus trip back home today. But somehow, this relationship is making me feel alone, i'm really trying my best to convince myself tat it's ok at this stage, as both of us have work, our own worries and many other obligations. However, though i tried to create opportunities to be with her, it never seem to be noticed... maybe i should just have some timeout alone, think over it, then consider if i should get on with it. Even when today i tried time and again to catch her attention, it seems futile...
Maybe it's cos i'm selfish, maybe cos i'm bored, maybe there's just too many things tat are more important than me... or maybe it's cos we no longer have tat kind of time for each other.
Taking into consideration that i've really tried my best, i dunno what to do now.
Feels really really hurt, and the tears really feel warm when they fall out of my eye...
Forgive me for not being able to be the one to give you what you need, even when it's my best.
I know she realise about it, but when realise without doing anything hurts me even more than before.
Today, I failed in my duties as a son and as a student.
Failing as a son as i did not return home early to help my mum carry the fruits for tomorrow's offering even though i promised her so.
Failing as a student as i did not keep on schedule with my schoolwork even though i promised myself so.
It's a really really bad day where my heart hurts so much.
8:15 PM